Madonna Interview : Late Show with David Letterman
David: In what sense? Madonna: Because you just kiss up to everybody on your show now. Madonna: You do man, you’re always kissing up to like all, I see all these, like you know movie stars coming here and you just all ga-ga, you should just give people a hard time. David: Yeah, I can suspend that behavior tonight if you’d like. [applause and laughter] Madonna: [Laughing] I believe you have already. David: Oh, I know, now we’re just kidding around, now explain to folks, we’re just kidding around. Madonna: Don’t treat me special, Ok? David: Alright, sure. Madonna: I wouldn’t want you to do that. David: Now what specifically are you getting at, what is driving you nuts here? What’s troubling ya? Madonna: About you or life in general? David: We’ll let’s start with life in general. Madonna: No let’s just get back to you. David: Ok, fine. Madonna: Um. David: First of all, you’re not irritated at all, you’re not irritated at all, I know this is a little act. Madonna: You are not irritating me. David: Ok, good. Madonna: Are you trying to? David: No, I’m not trying to irritate you. Madonna: Actually you do irritate me sometimes. David: Hmm, hmm. David: Well you kind of irritate me to. Madonna: Really? David: You see we have so much in common. Madonna: I know. Madonna: Why are you always …Actually I brought something, to like make a point… David: Right, ok, good. Madonna: Because you are always f***** with me on the show. David: God. Madonna: You are always f****** with me on the show. David: This, you kn… Madonna: You are always f****** with me on the show. [an older couple is shown gasping at madonna’s comments] Madonna: Where is that thing? [the camera] David: See what you’re doing. David: You see, you see what you’re doing? David: Now there, you see. Madonna: What? David: A, a nice couple. Where are you folks from? Yeah Appleton, Wisconsin, look they drove all the way, they came in an Avis car and they wanted … Madonna: Will you shut up please, can we… let’s get to the tape, I brought a tape to prove that he’s obsessed with my, obsessed with me. David: Alright, you think we refer to you much to much on the show. Madonna: Yeah. David: Alright, roll the tape Hal, let’s see what she’s talking about here. [tape] David: As luck would have it, I look up and there’s Madonna… Paul: There she was. David: …Riding her bicycle. Hal roll my home video tape of Madonna. Watch this, this is very impressive ladies and gentleman, look there she is. [applause] David: Ok, stop it. [The tape is film of a naked woman riding her bicycle away from the camera, with a black spot over her butt] David: Alright. Madonna: What’s that all about? David: Now can you do that? Don’t you have a problem with chaffing when you’re out there like that? Madonna: My ass looks a lot better than that. David: [laughing] Are you enjoying that smoke there? Madonna: It’s just the right size. David: What are you, uh now when you leave here tonight, what are you gonna do, are you gonna go out are you going to… Madonna: Don’t f*** with me Dave. David: Oh, jeez David: Please. Madonna: Aren’t there any other segments? That’s it? David: Do we have more tape for Madonna? David: Sounds to me… Madonna: I like the way you say my name, by the way. David: It sounds to me like somebody might be hmm, hmm with you… Madonna: Somebody f**** up. David: [laughing] Oh, god. Madonna: It’s ok. David: I want to thank you folks for coming out for this run through show, thank you very much, this of course will never see the light of day, you won’t miss a thing tonight, ummm, you have, you have a top ten list, I’m told. Madonna: Yah I’m sitting on it. David: You’re sitting on it, oh are we going to do the list? Morty: Yes.