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Madonna Interview : Late Show with David Letterman

Madonna - Late Show with David Letterman / March 31 1994 David: I heard Morty over there weaseling, first he said “no, no, no, no” and then I said, and then I said “are we going to do the list” and he said “sure.” Madonna: There seems to be a lot of confusion right now. David: Yeah guess why. [Audience, Dave and Madonna laughing] Madonna: Is it cause I’ve been saying f*** ? David: You just, you can’t… Madonna: Speak the truth or train the devil baby. David: No, you can’t be comin’ on here, this is American Television, you can’t be talkin’ like that, now we’re going to have to… Madonna: Why? David: Because people don’t want that in their own homes at 11:30 at night. Madonna: They don’t? [applause] Madonna: Wait a minute, wait a minute. David: Yeah, yes sir! [Dave stands up and salutes the older couple] Madonna: Stop! [organ music and clapping] Madonna: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Madonna: People don’t want to hear the word f*** in their… David: Oh, stop it, will you stop… Ladies and Gentleman turn down your volume, turn the volume down immediately, she can’t be stopped. [applause] David: There’s something wrong with her… Madonna: I want to know, what do people… Madonna: There is definitely something wrong with me… David: Yeah. Madonna: … I’m sitting here. Madonna: Anyways, what, oooh… [mimicking the crowd] [crowd oohing] David: We have to do another commercial, we have to do another commercial, we’ll figure… Madonna: I don’t think we should… David: No, we are going to do one… Madonna: I don’t think, I think we should break the rules… David: Oh, yah, I’m callin’ the shots. Madonna: … tonight…I think we should … David: We’re doin’ another commercial. David: We’ll be right back. [Commercial] [Madonna smoking a cigar] David: Counting Crows will be out here in a little bit and Madonna is with us, if you’re just joining us, so far it has been a fascinating interview. Madonna: Yeah, you just, Dave just slobbered all over my cigar. David: Ya, know you asked me to light it for you and I thought I was doing the gentlemanly thing. Madonna: This is the closest I’m ever going to get to kissing you. David: Aaah, well… [crowd aahing] David: …We could certainly change that, ya know what I mean. David: …If I don’t have to wait in line. [laughter] David: It’s a joke, I’m sorry. Madonna: We’ll you’re not in the NBA, so forget about it. David: [laughing] Now, Madonna, I’m told that you’ve prepared a little special comedy thing for us, your own kind of … Madonna: Me? David: Yes you, your top ten list, there, and I think all America is… Madonna: Want to get it? [she is sitting on it] David: [Madonna leans to the right and Dave reaches to get it] Oh, man, uh damn thing seems to be stuck. [Madonna laughing hysterically] David: Somebody bring me the Jaws of Life! Madonna: See? David: There, Ok. Madonna: See, I haven’t dated that many basketball players. David: Alright, just… [unwrinkling paper] Madonna: That was a very subtle joke. David: There, ok. How you been, ya doin’ alright? You look pretty good, everything going alright? Madonna: Are you talkin’ to me? David: I’m talkin’ to you, yah. Madonna: This seems all very rehearsed. David: I know. Madonna: Why did you have to go and read a top ten list? David: We do it every night, have you ever seen the show? [laughter] Madonna: Well, actually I have seen the show, but I’ve never, I mean I’ve always been doing something while I was watching the show. David: Oh, I know, I’ve heard, I’ve heard all about you. Madonna: Exactly, so. Madonna: I don’t really, it’s not funny [crumples up top ten and throws it behind her], forget it. [audience claps]