And he is as famous for his shyness as you are for your forthrightness.
Yes, he is shy. But I have my shyness, and he also has his moments of exhibitionism. But I really don’t want to analyze Sean in this interview. The point I was trying to make before was just about saving something for yourself. The romantic side of me wanting to announce my love, given my position in life, would ultimately work against me in the future. It’s an incredible strain on the relationship. Because if you want everyone to know about the great things, then you’re saying too that you want them to know about the bad things. So you never get left alone.
Are you a woman who loves too much?
No. I don’t think you can ever love enough.
Your public persona is characterized by flirtatiousness, and Sean appeared to be a traditional guy, jealous of his woman’s sharing herself so openly.
But I’m not immune to jealousy? We’re both jealous.
Do you think you’re the right woman for him?
I don’t know. Life is long. Who knows? I couldn’t say for sure. Was I the right woman, or am I the right woman? I was the right woman at the time. I mean, there are no accidents. What happened happened. I’m sure we learned a great deal from each other.
Are you a challenge to live with?
Definitely! Do you think it could be any other way? Yes, I’m pretty headstrong. And stubbornness comes with that, a certain amount of inflexibility. In going after what I wanted, other things tend to fall by the wayside, things you should maybe pay more attention to. Most passionate people are headstrong. [We were] two fires rubbing up against each other. It’s exciting and difficult.
How accurate are the tabloid tales of your night of terror – the nine hours in bondage?
Extremely inaccurate, as they usually are. They made it all up. But I expect it. They’re always making shit up. I’ve completely reconciled myself to that fact.
So there wasn’t one single breaking point?
It’s been a slow breaking point all the way. I can’t say there’s anything specific that happened.
But you did file and later drop charges with the Malibu police, right?
[Pauses] I understand your position. People want to hear the dirt. But this is not really anything I want to talk about here. It’s totally unfair to Sean, too. I have great respect for him. It’s like most relationships that fail. It’s not one thing, it’s many thing that go on over a period of time.
You’ve spoken before of your fascination with the painter Frida Kahlo, whose marriage to the muralist Diego Rivera was famously tempestuous. Are you drawn to the parallels in your lives?
I see some parallels. I mean, she was crippled physically and emotionally in ways that I’m not. But she was also married to a very powerful and passionate man and was tormented by him. Although he loved her and was supportive of her as an artist, there was a lot of competition between them. There weren’t that many female artists at the time, and the Latin community is a very macho environment. It was very hard for her to survive that and have her own identity. And I can identify to a certain extent with having that awarenes of the male point of view of what a woman’s role is in a relationship. It’s tough to fight it. She was very courageous, and I admire and can relate to that.
You’ve maintained in your music that dreams come true. What are your dreams like?
Most of my dreams are really violent. But then, obviously, my life is pretty crazy. I’m always in the public eye. People are always sort of chasing after me and imposing on my privacy, my area, my space. So I have those kinds of dreams, where people are chasing me or I’m naked – you know, exposed. Also, I dream of children a lot. Specifically, I see different people in my life as children. That may be because, in a way, I feel I take care of a lot of people. But, yes, dreams are an important part of my life.