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Madonna Interview : Rolling Stone

Let’s move on to leisure-time activities. What’s the last movie you rented?
We don’t rent that many movies — we just get them.

You being Madonna and all.
You’re gonna laugh when I tell you what movie we saw last.

Out with it! “Next Friday.” The Ice Cube movie?
Well, Guy liked the first Friday, so, whatever. You know, we trade off. Listen, I don’t mind. I’m not a snob. And now I’m gonna force him to watch one of my dark, depressing, artsy-fartsy movies.

So it’s “Next Friday” one night, “Exterminating Angel” the next, then we go back to —
Caddyshack. And then we’ll watch, you know, Rocco and His Brothers. Actually, he enjoyed that — I was shocked. That’s a really good, salty film. It’s got a lot of guys in it. It’s like a real male-bonding movie, so he could relate to it. They fight each other a lot.

Can you ever sneak away to a movie and sit in the back?
I did. We went to see Me, Myself and Irene the other night, in a movie theater in Hollywood.

You don’t have any film work coming up that we should know about, right?
No. I can’t find a script that I like. They all suck. I always get sent scripts with femme fatale parts. And lately I’m just getting all the scripts about mothers with children. With truculent teenage daughters and stuff. Boring! I’m still a truculent teenage daughter.

Being as famous as you are, when is the last time you were completely alone?
When I was in Greece, and I was kayaking. I kayaked out into the middle of the sea and just kept going and going and going. Pretty soon, I looked around and I couldn’t see anything. I thought, “Oh, my God — I’m alone. I’m really alone.” It was an incredible feeling. Just floating around. Wondering if there were any sharks.

How long had it been? There’s always someone in your sphere, right?
Yeah. I don’t know — twenty years. Honestly, I don’t know. In the morning, you have coffee, and then you get on the computer for a few hours, e-mailing people.

Then where will we find you?
Um … in the kitchen, eating [laughs]. Reading more magazines. Just being a slob, really.

You have to be reveling in it just a little bit.
No. I have become … useless [laughs]. I’m moving, so my days are completely filled with, like, choosing fabrics for curtains — which I also sometimes feel really psychically disturbed by. I don’t want to choose lighting fixtures. Do you know what I mean? But I have to, because I want to live in a house that is an expression of me. So I have to choose these things.

[Sighs] And I get to the end of my day sometimes, and I think, “OK. I’m pregnant. I’m fat. I can’t exercise. I can’t wear cool clothes. I don’t feel like dancing. And there’s absolutely nothing remotely cool or cutting-edge about me right now. I’ve become a domesticated cow. I just choose fabrics!” [Laughs] OK? That’s it. And it’s very disturbing. Sometimes [voice gets wavery] I burst into tears thinking about it. So that’s about it.

Think of it this way: That’s a taste of what you might have been.
No, I know — I know it’s temporary. But, still, it’s a funny place to find yourself in, when you think of yourself as having some kind of revolutionary spirit.

I read recently that you go to Disneyland with your daughter, and to play groups, and Discovery Center, and so forth. This I cannot picture.
No, I don’t. Who said that? I went to Disneyland once. I go to places with my daughter, but I don’t go to those places. My nanny goes there. I’m more apt to do things like take my daughter to work situations. I drag her shopping with me to choose lighting fixtures, or —

Does she have opinions on the lighting fixtures?
She has opinions on everything. We do more sophisticated things together — and I leave the play-group shit to somebody else [laughs]. I mean, eww.

Is it true that you’re actually doing a club tour?
In the fall, I’ll probably do some clubs. Club-clubs — the Roxy, like how we started, in New York. And then I’ll go to London and one or two other cities in Europe. Just surprise appearances. Now, of course, they won’t be surprised if I blab about them. I like the idea of doing that, and playing to 2,000 to 5,000 people. And then see how it goes from there. And then maybe, the following year — I’ll have to figure out what city I’m in…. I’ll put a new show together. I keep getting distracted with having children and making movies. But I feel like it’s time now. And if you thought I sounded like an animal getting sprung out of a cage on my record — there’s a part of me that can’t wait to do a show.

You’ve mentioned that you feel insecure sometimes. When was the last time that you actually felt insecure?
I feel insecure every five minutes. What are you talking about? Every time I look at myself in the mirror, I always panic. Every time I see some horrible picture of myself in the newspaper, where I look like a whale. I mean, now I do. I feel really insecure about my body. But I think all women do when they’re pregnant.

Let’s get specific here. Say you come across some old photos of a boyfriend’s ex. Do you make mean comments?
No, I never want to give away my power that much.

But you do feel a twinge.
Well, there’s a whole thing that happens. First I go [gasps], “Oh, she’s skinny and pretty.” [She grins wickedly] Then I think, “Oh, but I’m me.”

© Rolling Stone Magazine